afraid to go to bed

Should I lean into my intense emotions, or should I protect myself from them?

They are so dark that they hurt. They make me feel unlike the person I want to be.

I know that life isn’t about always feeling the way we wish we did. But I want to have the chance to fill my life with beautiful memories instead of constantly turning back toward the darkness. I don’t like that place. I spent a very long time there, and I don’t want to go back.

It always feels the same. It’s that dark place that returns in the evenings, when I’m afraid to go to bed. As it gets dark outside, I can feel the fear spread through my entire body. It’s like a constant electric current running through me.