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  • kim k once said

    everytime when Scott had a big change, he had a bad time after that.

    I need to ask myself: Did I often have good or bad times after big changes? And I guess there were so many big changes because I never really had control over them.

    So now, when even something little changes in my life, I feel like I have to hold on, not give up control.

    Because somewhere inside I feel like I’m in danger. Like everything will fall apart, again.

  • türmle im himmel

    türmle im himmel

    Ach, wie gern würd ich
    in einem Türmchen leben

    Licht umhült jede Rundung,
    und der Blick reicht so weit,
    wie mein Auge es vermag

    Niemand neben mir
    Niemand über mir

    Nur Stille,
    die mich lieb umschlingt

    Baumkronen,
    geschmückt mit Elfen,
    die leise miteinander flüstern

    Wolken,
    die mich auffangen

    Luft,
    die mir das Leben zeigt,

    prustet mir in mein Gesicht, wenn ich schau aus dem Fensterlein

    Ach, wie gern

    würd ich im Türmle sein
    dem Himmel,

    ein kleines Stückchen näher 

  • afterlife

    If you truly listen to death and allow it to come close to you, you no longer need intoxication

    You no longer need highs

    Pain will make you feel alive
    Anger will teach you how to feel
    Your tears will set you free
    Your scream will stay with you

    A cry into infinity brings the surrender and loss of control that people so often seek through intoxication

    The person you love will come close to you
    They will hold you

    Look closely

    Let your jaw soften
    Your eyes grow heavy
    Your body slowly sinks into itself

    The one who can no longer touch you will embrace you

    They will hold you and comfort you
    They will smile at you and gently place a smile upon your sorrowful lips

    Like a baby, you rest safely in the arms of the one who has passed away

    Love settles over you like a warm blanket, and a deep warmth fills your entire being

    This is your world
    Your love
    Your universe

    Everything is okay

    Everything will be okay

    I love you